3rd Season 1995

  1. "Come Back Little Diva"
    gs: Desiree Walter [ Lakeisha ], Patty Holley [ Polly ], Mirron E. Willis [ Karl ], James Black [ Orville ], Vanessa J. Wells [ Sam ], Gary Ballard [ Laundry Man ]

    rc: Laverne

    Regine shows up at the laundromat, despite the fact that it is nowhere near her new apartment. She and Khadijah are less than civil, and Regine won't admit that her new place is a dump in a bad neighborhood. She invites everyone except Khadijah to a housewarming party, but Max declares that she and Kyle will boycott the affair. An annoyed Kyle goes without her. Max convinces Khadijah to crash the party. Kyle calls Max to task for her constant struggle for control within their relationship, but their passion is rekindled after he reveals that he saved her some shrimp and cocktail sauce. Everyone becomes a little disturbed by the fact that Regine's new neighbors hold personalities eerily similar to those of her old friends. Khadijah and Synclaire believe they have located the perfect roommate, but Regine interrupts their conversation on the fire escape. She reflects on her long friendship with Khadijah, and admits that she feels lost without her. They patch things up and return to the brownstone.

    Tag: The naked man at the laundromat questions Synclaire's sanity.

    Quotes:
    Regine: "Girl, it's fabulous. I've turned it into a little French hideaway."
    Khadijah: "Apparently so hidden your ass can't seem to find it. Au revoir!"

    Regine: "My very own little pied-atterve."
    Laverne: "Well, I don't know what the heck that is, but this is a dump!"

    Polly: "Oh, this is truly wonderful! Two friends, together again, sharing the love."
    Synclaire: "Who are you?!"
    Polly: "Lakeisha's cousin, Polly. Hush-hush-hush. Hush-hush-hush."
    Synclaire: "All right! Stop that! If there's anybody that's gonna provide any comfort right now, it's gonna be me. Woo-woo-woo. Woo-woo-woo."

    b: 31 Aug 95 pc: 457351 w: Yvette Lee Bowser d: Ellen Gittelsohn

    NOTE: The series moves to Thursdays at 8:00.
  2. "The Ex-File"
    gs: Tammy Townsend [ Melody ], Greg Alan Williams [ Darren ], Scott Michael Campbell [ Pug ]

    Overton is mortified when he sees Melody, the woman who once shattered him by rejecting his marriage proposal, at the hardware store. He sneaks out, but she later gets his number from his friend Pug and gives him a call. Although Synclaire feels that it is a terrible idea, Overton agrees to meet Melody at Cheezy Burger. After Kyle inadvertently tells her about the proposal, a furious Synclaire tries to retaliate by driving to Bayonne to meet up with a man who sends her a Christmas card each year. She learns that he is an insurance agent, not an ex-flame. Melody tells Overton that she has come to appreciate him, and that she is now willing to spend her life with a "simple" man. She tries to kiss him, but Overton (who was once powerless to resist her advances) now feels nothing for her because of his love for Synclaire. Regine is annoyed to find that Khadijah and Synclaire have re-decorated the apartment and forced her into the worst bedroom, but is cheered when she discovers that her new room has free premium cable.

    Tag: Regine offers Khadijah and Synclaire a pay-per-view deal.

    Quotes:
    Overton: "Hey, sugar beet."
    Synclaire: "Oh my God! It's another woman…Who is she, Overton? Who is she?"
    Overton: "Just an old girlfriend from high school."
    Synclaire: "Melody? The woman who broke your heart and drove you from fair Cleveland?"
    Overton: "Damn. You're on today, ain't you, girl?"

    Synclaire: "What does she look like?"
    Overton: "Oh, I don't know. About five-two. Medium build. Regular hair. Little small ankles."
    Synclaire: "Forget it! You think I'm gonna give you permission to see some thin-ankled babe with ta-ta's to Tuesday? No!"

    Melody: "Well, can we at least be friends?"
    Overton: "I believe it was Lord Byron who said, `The best way will be to avoid each other without appearing to do so.' Letter of April 25, 1814. Goodbye, girlie."

    b: 7 Sep 95 pc: 457352 w: Roger S.H. Schulman d: Ellen Gittelsohn

    NOTE: Synclaire quotes the chorus of Billy Paul's 1972 hit "Me and Mrs. Jones" as she rants about Melody. ("What, she wants to be Mrs. Jones? They've got a thing going on?")
  3. "On the Rebound"
    gs: Grant Hill [ Himself ], Rod Brutt [ Mr. Goldsberry ]

    rc: Ivan

    NBA star Grant Hill comes to town for a Basketball/Piano Camp, and agrees to an interview for Flavor. While playing a game of one-on-one against Khadijah, he injures his knee in a mid-air collision. Khadijah feels guilty, but the injury is not serious. Grant comes over to the apartment, and he and Khadijah end up kissing (much to Regine's horror). Although Grant sweeps Khadijah off her feet and is interested in a relationship, Khadijah feels that the distance between them and their busy schedules would make this impossible. She breaks up with him, as she doesn't want to get hurt. Synclaire and Max suggest that she still hasn't gotten over Scooter. Kyle and Max are frustrated beyond belief when they cannot beat Overton and Synclaire at a single board game. Overton and Synclaire finally throw a game of Battleship to shut them up. A college-age messenger delivers a package to Flavor and is instantly smitten with Khadijah.

    Tag: Grant serenades an appreciative Regine.

    Quotes:
    Regine: "They wouldn't even let him see his fiancée, the future Regine Hunter-Hill."
    Max: "Regine, you are an embarrassment to desperate women everywhere."

    Synclaire: "Ivan, I don't know how long Khadijah's going to be. She's out having lunch with her new beau, Grant Hill."
    Ivan: "Grant Hill? As in `All-Star-Rookie-of-the-Year-All-American-Paid' Grant Hill?"
    Synclaire: "The one and only."
    Ivan: "He ain't all that."

    Ivan: "Mmm! What penmanship. If you don't mind me saying, you have a nice S."

    b: 14 Sep 95 pc: 457353 w: Eunetta Boone d: Ellen Gittelsohn

    NOTE: In the elevator, Ivan looks up at Grant and mutters, "Wish I was a little bit taller." This was a line from the chorus of "I Wish," a hit rap song by Skee-lo during the summer of 1995. It was about a young man who envied basketball players because they got all the girls.
  4. "Grumpy Old Man"
    gs: Mel Winkler [ Old Man ]

    Kyle grows increasingly surly as his 30th birthday approaches. Max, at her friends' urging, throws him a surprise party. He does not wish to participate, but is coaxed into a game of Barnyard Twister. Kyle throws his back out and leaves, humiliated. Max finds him sulking at the laundromat and asks him what is wrong. He explains that he has failed to meet many of his professional goals. Whereas he had always been a wunderkind, he now feels that he is going nowhere. Max tells him that there are some good things to be said for aging. She points out that he never could have gotten her into a relationship if he were still as immature and sexist as he was when they met. She says that she is giving herself to him for his birthday. Kyle thanks her, laughing that she is "sweet and cheap." Synclaire fills the house with plants, and is distressed when they die after just two days. Khadijah feels that Synclaire was smothering the plants with attention, and jokes that they committed "planticide" to get away from her.

    Tag: Kyle opens dozens and dozens of jars.

    Music: "The Hustle" by Van McCoy

    Quotes:
    Kyle: "Maxine, I'm older than almost everybody on the Orlando Magic. I am older than most cops. Hell, I'm older than Boyz II Men."

    Overton: "Personally, I'm looking forward to turning thirty."
    Regine: "Why is that, Obie?"
    Overton: "'Cause I'm an optimist. I look forward to damn near anything."

    Max: "I have the feeling that mocking you won't work, so I have absolutely no idea what to say. But I wanted to be with you on your birthday."
    Kyle: "Thanks, Max."
    Max: "Now what the hell's wrong with you?!"

    b: 21 Sep 95 pc: 457354 w: Becky Hartman d: Henry Chan
  5. "Rags to Riches"
    gs: John O'Hurley [ Jean Luc ], Meg Wittner [ Veronica Mills ], Cheryl Francis Harrington [ Pushy Woman ], Judy Kain [ Surly Woman ]

    rc: Laverne

    Regine is thrilled when a famous designer purchases the boutique, until she learns that he has decided to target the mainstream market and convert it into a discount store called Le Rag Bin. Although her mother can't get enough of the merchandise, Regine is on the verge of quitting when she assembles a particularly gaudy outfit for one customer. The woman is actually a wardrobe consultant for the hit soap opera Palo Alto. She is impressed with Regine's ability to perceive what is tacky, and hires her as her assistant. Meanwhile, Overton is mortified to learn that he is a dead ringer for a porn star.

    Tag: Overton learns he has unwittingly rented "Herbie the Lust Bug."

    Quotes:
    Woman: "When I went to try these on, a spider crawled out of the back pocket."
    Regine: "Well, then you've met our quality control inspector."

    Overton: "I'm going upstairs to call my mom and have the second most-difficult conversation with her I ever had. Don't ask!"

    Regine: "If you ever see me on the street, well, you slither over to the other side. Unless you want to feel the wrath…of the binmaster!"

    b: 28 Sep 95 pc: 457355 w: Jim Pond and Bill Fuller d: Rae Kraus
  6. "The James Bond"
    gs: Bob Glouberman [ Technician ]

    rc: Russell, Ivan

    Khadijah and Synclaire learn that a $500 savings bond they opened as teenagers has matured, and is now worth $2700. Khadijah is anxious to use all the money to purchase a new computer for Flavor, and doesn't realize that Synclaire wants to use her half to attend a Harvey Keitel acting seminar. Synclaire spends her money without consulting Khadijah, who is unaware of her actions until the new computer is repossessed. Khadijah spends her share on a raise for Russell, and is furious at her cousin. She later learns that, although she had always considered Flavor their dream, Synclaire does not feel this way. She agrees to support Synclaire's aspirations. Kyle is outraged when he learns that Max has one more name in her little black book than he does. Max accuses him of being childish, but he isn't pacified until he discovers that he hasn't included Max in his book, while he is in hers.

    Tag: Overton watches Synclaire's naked acting demonstration.

    Quotes:
    Ivan: "You mind if I wander around aimlessly, thinking about what might have been?"
    Khadijah: "Knock yourself out."
    Ivan: "I'm thinking about that, too."

    Khadijah: "Well, if I get a little intense, it's only because Flavor is our dream."
    Synclaire: "No, our dream was to be on Soul Train. But that never happened, Miss Refuse to Wear a Midriff!"

    Russell: "Crazy family. Spending each other's money and hugging before dawn. I tell you, it's Babylon!"

    b: 5 Oct 95 pc: 457356 w: Warren Hutcherson d: Leonard R. Garner Jr.
  7. "The Handyman Can"
    gs: Sherry Zak [ Mrs. Wenig ], Scott Michael Campbell [ Pug ], Tom Silardi [ Rob Sharp ], Tyrees Allen [ Mike ]

    Overton is devastated when a bookshelf he built falls apart and kills an ill-tempered cat that Synclaire was watching for an acquaintance. Overton tries to make amends by building the cat a beautiful coffin, but this also falls apart. He decides that he has lost his skill as a handyman, and takes a job as a bartender. Synclaire and Kyle cannot change his mind, but he eventually learns that the accidents were the result of faulty glue that has since been recalled. Meanwhile, Max is devastated by the news that she is allergic to chocolate, and is subjected to much taunting from Regine.

    Tag: Max ignores allergy and binges on chocolate.

    Music: "What's New, Pussycat?" (Tom Jones), sung by T.C. Carson

    Quotes:
    Max: "I can't breathe through my nose."
    Synclaire: "I know what you mean, Max. Khadijah, remember that time I got those two marbles stuck up my nostrils?"
    Khadijah: "That's the last magic show we ever did!"

    Khadijah: "She's allergic to the cat."
    Regine: "Well, here's a thought. Get away from the cat."
    Max: "I can't."
    Regine: "Why not? You're driving me crazy!"
    Max: "Look at that. You answered your own question."

    Kyle: "Well, Overton, if you wanted to avoid hurting people, this certainly is the place. Serving up alcohol. Selling cigarettes. Just kind of killing them slowly, aren't you?"

    b: 12 Oct 95 pc: 457357 w: Chris Sheridan d: Otis Sallid
  8. "He Works Hard for the Money"
    gs: Eartha Kitt [ Jacqueline Richards ], Earl Boen [ Mr. McGinty ], Jason Graae [ Danny ], Kyla Pratt [ Tracy ], Dylan Beynon [ Jimmy ]

    rc: Lawrence, Jeffrey

    Kyle fears that his firm's new client, esteemed actress Jacqueline Richards, is coming on to him. He makes a fool of himself trying to reject her advances. She assures him that she only wants to be friends, but Kyle feels as though he is her lackey when she buys him gifts and takes him to expensive restaurants in exchange for errands. He draws the line at cleaning up after her poodles. Kyle agrees to be her friend, but tries to help her realize that true friendships are not based on monetary compensation. Khadijah is embarrassed when L.O.O.F.A., a children's group for which Synclaire volunteers, names her its hero of the year, on the basis of a lie she once told Synclaire about pulling a man from a burning car during their youth. Khadijah saves the man from choking after the ceremony, but Synclaire doesn't believe her.

    Tag: Khadijah actually saves Mr. McGinty.

    Music: "Someone to Watch Over Me," sung by Eartha Kitt and T.C. Carson

    Quotes:
    Synclaire: "One weekend a month, I shape the minds of impressionable youngsters."
    Max: "I guess that's not long enough to do any permanent damage."

    Jacqueline: "Do I feel the refreshing breeze of a fan?"
    Kyle: "Not so much a fan as a conoisseur of great performers."
    Jacqueline: "I've always liked you. What's your name?"

    Kyle: "I am not scooping."
    Jacqueline: "A friend would."
    Kyle: "Well, did Mr. Cosby?"
    Jacqueline: "Tempestt Bledsoe did."

    19 Oct 95 pc: 457358 w: Arthur Harris and Ed Evans d: Henry Chan
  9. "Baby I'm Back…Again"
    gs: Shelley Berman [ Hyman ], Marc Gomes [ Cleophus Wade ], Gary Simpson [ Devon ]

    rc: Scooter

    Scooter returns to New York, but receives a chilly reception from Khadijah, who is furious at him for failing to call her for months. They are arguing on the roof when Scooter suddenly flashes a ring and proposes. Khadijah accepts immediately. Both quickly begin to experience doubts about the upcoming nuptials. While at the jewelry store to size the ring, they realize that they only got engaged because they were afraid of losing one another. They were not ready for marriage before Scooter's departure, and spending a year apart certainly did not strengthen their relationship. They call off the engagement and decide to go back to being friends. Regine, in the midst of a dating dry spell, follows her friends' advice and nixes a date with carpet cleaner Cleophus Wade when he asks her out over the phone. She is disgusted to learn that Cleophus is handsome and wealthy (he owns the company). He thanks her for rejecting him, as this pushed him into reconciling with his ex-girlfriend, whom he takes to expensive restaurants and lavishes with gifts.

    Tag: Regine is a little overeager for blind date with doctor.

    Quotes:
    Regine: "For your information, we are having a beauty night."
    Khadijah: "It ain't working."

    Scooter: "We're gonna go upstairs and `call our parents.'"
    Synclaire: "Oh, there's a phone right here."

    Synclaire: "Oh my God! You're pregnant. Okay. It's okay. And no one needs to know but just us, okay? Woo-woo-woo. Woo-woo-woo."
    Khadijah: "Bless you, Synclaire. Now the townspeople won't stone me."

    b: 2 Nov 95 pc: 457359 w: Kriss Turner d: Ellen Gittelsohn
  10. "Mr. Big Shot"
    gs: Alonzo Mourning [ Himself ], David Bowe [ Ray Brunger ]

    Overton wins a contest from McColgan's shaving cream and receives a chance to take a 3-point shot for $10,000 at halftime of a Knicks game. Synclaire seems to be a jinx, as he misses every shot when she steps into the gym, and regains his form the second she leaves. Even slipping a photo of her into his gym bag is enough to bring on the curse. Synclaire refuses to go to the Knick game because she doesn't want to ruin Overton's chance at the money. Overton makes the shot, then calls Synclaire and reveals (on television) that he had worn a T-shirt of the couple together. Meanwhile, Max "borrows" a dress that Regine had designed for Palo Alto and wears it to a function at the mayor's house. Regine tries to warn her that it is a tear-away dress for a catfight scene, but thinks better of it. Max repairs the dress and apologizes to Regine, but also undertakes a long list of vengeful acts against her (including setting her up with RuPaul).

    Tag: Max's apology and revenge.

    Quotes:
    Max: "I'm not going to spend that kind of money on a dress I'm only going to wear once."
    Regine: "Well, then buy an expensive gown, wear it tonight, and then sell it to a hooker with similar taste."

    Khadijah: "Check it out, Obie. I got my press pass. What do you say we go down to the locker room, kick it with the players. Take your mind off of things."
    Overton: "How is that supposed to cheer me up?"
    Khadijah: "I don't know. But it'll sure make me feel better if I see John Starks in a strap!"

    Max: "Well, that little scamp. She certainly knows how to pull a practical joke. Oh well. See you tomorrow."
    Synclaire: "Uh, Max? You're scaring me. You seem a little too calm."
    Max: "Well, that's how you get sometimes when your soul is settled and you know what must be done."

    b: 9 Nov 95 pc: 457360 w: Chuck Tatham d: Ellen Gittelsohn
  11. "Mommy Not Dearest"
    gs: CCH Pounder [ Nina Shaw ], Dean Cain [ Himself ], Burt Ward [ Himself ], Wayne Federman [ Fred Meyer ], Roger Eschbacher [ Andy Oysterman ]

    Max's mother, Nina, comes to town to accept an award. Max is confused when her mother insists on staying at her apartment and trying to bond with her, as they never had a particularly close relationship. When her mother decides to reveal that she once had an affair, Max can take no more. She explains that she has always been grateful to her mother for giving her the space she needed to become her own person; things cannot change completely overnight. Nina shows up at the courtroom to console Max after she loses a case, and they decide to build their relationship slowly. Kyle is perplexed as to why Nina has not even been told of his existence. Khadijah finds actor Dean Cain's wallet in a cab, and learns that he will not work until he has retrieved the lucky receipt from the breakfast he ate the day he auditioned for Lois and Clark. She refuses to return the wallet to anyone but Cain himself.

    Tag: Dean Cain finds that Burt Ward is a little out of touch with reality.

    Quotes:
    Synclaire: "My mom and I talk about everything. Except Aunt Helen's ambrosia recipe. We get to arguing about the mini marshmallows vs. the big puffy ones, and somebody always runs off in tears."

    Kyle: "I just figured out why Max didn't tell her mother about me. If our relationship doesn't work out, she'll have to spend the rest of her life listening to her mother ask, `Whatever happened to that guy who had it all? You know, Kyle Barker?'"
    Overton: "Well, why didn't Max tell her mother about you before you started dating?"
    Kyle: "Clearly she was inebriated by the Barker magic from the start."
    Synclaire: "Even I didn't go for that one!"

    Max: "Where's Khadijah?"
    Regine: "She's doing a `Where Are They Now?' piece on Vanilla Ice. She's gotta wait till the end of his shift at Burger King."

    b: 16 Nov 95 pc: 457361 w: Becky Hartman Edwards d: Ellen Gittelsohn
  12. "The Following is a Sponsored Program"
    gs: TLC - Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas [ Themselves ], Cris Carter [ Himself ], Steven Banks [ Clive Nickelsby ], Ron Canada [ Lanny Freedan ], David Jahn [ Harold ]

    A discouraged Synclaire is unsure about auditioning for an infomercial for a dashboard grill, but Max encourages her to follow her acting aspirations. Regine volunteers Max to drive Synclaire to the audition in order to keep her from hanging around the apartment on her day off. Max confronts the director when he dismisses Synclaire without allowing her to say her lines. He is so impressed by Max's spunk that he gives her the part. Synclaire accuses Max of robbing her of her dream, and begins to lose faith in their friendship. When Synclaire tries to walk off the set during the taping, Max calls her up to the stage as a skeptical customer. They pull off the performance beautifully, but are fired because the director feels there is no place for spontaneity in an infomercial. Synclaire thanks Max for restoring her belief in her acting ability. Overton is wracked with guilt when he continually dreams about the R&B group TLC after falling asleep during its videos.

    Tag: Synclaire threatens TLC when it appears in Overton's dream.

    Music: "Waterfalls" by TLC

    Quotes:
    Khadijah: "Max, you could've been a little more sensitive. I mean, acting is Synclaire's thing. All you ever wanted to do is be a Supreme Court justice and own a Sizzler."

    Synclaire: "I left a little piece of myself up there in those bleachers."
    Max: "I'm guessing a fragment of brain."

    Synclaire: "Those three women could represent the three blissful years we've spent together. Or the `three times a lady' in that old Lionel Richie song."
    Overton: "Yeah, baby. I knew you'd make sense of this."

    b: 30 Nov 95 pc: 457362 w: Chuck Tatham d: Ellen Gittelsohn
  13. "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow…Dammit"
    gs: Michael Boatman [ Brent Washington ], Dorian Gregory [ Mountie Robeson ]

    Overton invites everyone to spend Christmas at the Canadian cabin his family frequented during his childhood. He is disgusted to find that the area is now a tourist attraction, complete with an amusement park. He has several run-ins with an overzealous Mountie (who cites him for fishing without a license and trying to chop down a protected tree), and Synclaire accidentally turns his Santa suit pink in the wash. Khadijah challenges Kyle and Max to be civil to one another throughout the trip, but all bets are off when she shows him up by buying him a laser disc player after they'd agreed to a twenty-dollar spending limit on gifts. Regine dumps her date when he assumes she will be sleeping with him, then accidentally reveals that he is about to be fired from the soap opera. Regine is not pleased when Khadijah cheers him up and helps him get home. Synclaire tells Overton that what made the Christmases of his youth special was the presence of loved ones, not the cabin. The others, including a reconciled Kyle and Max, join them outside. The Mountie tries to give Overton a ticket for an illegal campfire, but will back off for a date with Khadijah. She declines so that Regine can have a shot at him.

    Tag: Caroling on a roller coaster.

    Music: "Deck the Halls" and "Silent Night," performed by the cast

    Quotes:
    Overton: "Savory turkey. Carols around the tree. It was like living in a Norman Rockwell painting…except without all the white people."

    Khadijah: "I'm not one of those girls who needs a man hanging on her arm like some kind of ornament."
    Regine: "Ladies, I would like for you to meet my date, an actor I've grown quite close to at the soap. His name is Tyler, but he plays Brent."
    Brent: "Actually, my name is Brent, and I play Tyler."
    Khadijah and Synclaire: "Ornament!"

    Overton: "I see the happy truce is back in effect."
    Kyle: "No, not really. But you know, after much debate, Brumhilda and I came to the conclusion that it just takes way too much energy to be nice."
    Max: "Yes. Once Beelzebub and I started criticizing each other's gifts and calling each other names, it rekindled that old flame, you know?"

    b: 14 Dec 95 pc: 457364 w: Jim Pond and Bill Fuller d: Rae Kraus
  14. "I'm Ready for My Close-Up"
    gs: Meg Wittner [ Veronica Mills ], Michael McCarty [ Gerald ], Ralph P. Martin [ Otto Pharr ], Arthur Brooks [ Brooksie Fuller ], Richard Voigts [ Louis ]

    After Regine brags about her influence on Palo Alto, Synclaire drops by the set unexpectedly in the hopes that Regine can help her land a part. Regine is humiliated when none of the actors are aware of her existence, and the director refers to her as "the odor-eater girl." Regine apologizes for lying; but explains that, although her work is not glamorous, she thoroughly enjoys it. Synclaire agrees to keep her true status a secret. When one of the extras gets fired, Regine slips Synclaire into a scene as the Grim Reaper. Meanwhile, Khadijah asks Max to pen a column about the legal profession for Flavor. Max objects when Khadijah edits the article, prompting Khadijah to note that Max cannot deal with criticism. It is only Overton's editing skills that stave off a feud.

    Tag: Synclaire's appearance on Palo Alto

    Quotes:
    Kyle: "I said the same thing five minutes ago. Excuse me for being sesquipedalian."
    Khadijah: "Kyle, tell me you know what that means!"
    Kyle: "Heh, heh. Look it up."

    Regine: "Great. If there's anything I don't need, it's pity from someone who buys her clothes and groceries from the same place."

    Synclaire: "You just need to stop worrying about what people say about you. I mean, look at me. I don't give a damn what people say."
    Regine: "Clearly."
    Synclaire: "What? Are people saying bad things about me?!"
    Regine: "No, no, no! No. Not everybody."

    b: 4 Jan 96 pc: 457363 w: Eunetta Boone d: Otis Sallid

    NOTE: Sesquipedalian means, appropriately enough, "given to use of long words."
  15. "Scoop Dreams"

    rc: Russell, Ivan

    Ivan is injured while riding his bike across the ice at Rockefeller Center to make a rush delivery for Flavor, and loses his job. Synclaire encourages Khadijah to give him a job, but she is frightened by his devotion to her. After learning that Ivan is a top journalism student, she hires him as a copy aide. Khadijah grows tired of Ivan's ridiculous story ideas, so she sends him to a celebrity hairdressing convention. He returns with a tape recording that suggests that Rev. Jesse Jackson has accepted a cabinet position. Having earlier been scooped by the competition on a music industry shake-up, Khadijah decides to run the story without verification. She is humiliated to discover that Rev. Jackson was discussing the renovation of his home, and is forced to pull all the issues from the shelves. A distraught Ivan is ready to give up journalism, but Khadijah takes the blame. She explains that--while Ivan is too raw to know any better--she has years of experience, and should not have ignored basic procedure. Overton is stung when his close friend Jeff selects Kyle to be his newborn son's godfather. When Kyle realizes the responsibility involved, he seeks Overton's assistance.

    Tag: The christening of Kyle's godson.

    Quotes:
    Synclaire: "Ivan, I just called for a messenger thirty seconds ago. How did you get here so fast?"
    Ivan: "Well, to quote a modern-day poet, Jeffrey Osborne, `On the wings of love.'"

    Regine: "Isn't that something? Woman goes through nine months of pregnancy, two days of labor, and he gives the man props."
    Max: "Oh, come on. Give him a break. He was involved in the process for about eighteen seconds."

    Ivan: "Isn't this one of those moments that you get so caught up in it that you grab the closest person to you and you give them a big, wet kiss on the mouth?"
    Khadijah: "You know, you're right. Oops! Moment just passed."

    b: 25 Jan 96 pc: 457366 w: Warren Hutcherson d: Ellen Gittelsohn
  16. "Likes Father, Likes Son"
    gs: Melvin Van Peebles [ Warner Devant ], Mario Van Peebles [ Cole Front ], Dino Meminger [ Stage Manager ]

    While at the TV station to visit her boyfriend, simple-minded weatherman Cole Front, Regine makes a date with a handsome older man named Warner Devant. When she later learns that Warner is Cole's father, she continues to see both men (she considers it a challenge) but has difficulty keeping track of their birthdays and likes and dislikes. The men eventually figure out what is going on, and show up at her door to confront her. Regine apologizes for the deception, and Cole orders her to choose between them. She picks Warner, causing Cole to have an on-air breakdown. Meanwhile, Overton, Max and Khadijah drive Kyle crazy when they invest money with his firm. He finally resigns as their broker, prompting one of his colleagues to thank him for the "suckers."

    Tag: Cole loses it on the air.

    Music: "Theme from Sanford and Son," hummed by T.C. Carson

    Quotes:
    Regine: "I need to lie down."
    Khadijah: "What's the matter? Feeling a little under the weather?"

    Synclaire: "What's so special about these two anyway? It's not like they're Richard and LeVar Burton."

    Synclaire: "Oh, you know what? I think Regine wants to be alone with her date and his son. Or her date and his dad. Oh, you know what I mean. I mean them."
    Khadijah: "Nice save, Synclaire."

    b: 1 Feb 96 pc: 457365 w: Robert Horn and Daniel Margosis d: Ellen Gittelsohn
  17. "Wake Up to the Break-Up"
    gs: Brian McKnight [ Himself ], Galyn Gorg [ Michelle ], Denice Kumagai [ Agent Tanaka ], Cleo King [ Geraldine ], Carlos Oscar [ Security Guard ]

    rc: Russell, Ivan

    A cable repairwoman flirts with Kyle and asks him to visit a museum. Max pushes him to go out with her, claiming that they are not in an exclusive relationship. Although the woman turns out to be an airhead, Kyle stresses that he is tired of being involved with a woman who refuses to respect him or show him any affection. He breaks up with Max. Regine takes her friends to a Brian McKnight concert after getting free tickets from a co-worker. Kyle and Max get thrown out after they get into a shouting match and nearly come to blows. In the security offices, they look back on their relationship. Max claims that she only cares about food, shelter, her career and good sex. Kyle tries to offer her a ride home, but she refuses to give in. Russell learns that he is to be deported back to Jamaica. He enlists the help of the Flavor staff, who can save him by proving that he is an essential employee. Their pathetic display fails to fool the INS officer, but Synclaire comes to the rescue by claiming that he is needed to help Flavor produce an issue in patois.

    Tag: Montage of Kyle and Max's relationship, accompanied by the Diana Ross and Lionel Richie duet "Endless Love."

    Music: "One Last Cry" by Brian McKnight; "Endless Love" by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross

    Quotes:
    Russell: "If I don't find somebody in the next 48 hours, I'll be shipped back to Kingston. Could you mention me to your busty, pouty roommate Regine?"
    Khadijah: "Trust me, you'd rather be deported."

    Kyle: "I will say it was refreshing being with someone who wasn't afraid to tell me that she enjoyed my company."
    Max: "She enjoyed a blank wall, Kyle. How good can you feel?"

    Synclaire: "I can't believe they just broke up."
    Khadijah: "I can't believe they were ever together."

    b: 1 Feb 96 pc: 457368 w: Edward C. Evans and Arthur Harris d: Ellen Gittelsohn

    NOTE: The montage during the closing credits features clips from 1.1, 1.4, 1.27, 2.1, 2.13, 2.15, 2.27, 3.4, 3.13 and 3.14.
  18. "Tibby or Not Tibby"

    rc: Tibby

    Overton receives an unexpected visit from his beloved Uncle Tibby. He is not impressed with Synclaire, as he believes she is trying to "get her hooks" into Overton. He urges Overton to dump her immediately. Synclaire overhears this, and is deeply hurt. Overton assures her that he is not swayed by his uncle's opinion, and offers to prepare a special dinner to get Tibby to warm up to Synclaire. When Tibby continues to criticize her, Overton orders him to leave. He explains that he cannot go home, as his wife threw him out for offering his brutally honest opinion about her children's choir. He apologizes to Synclaire, and admits that the fact that she reminds him of his wife may have been to blame for his attitude. Overton and Synclaire urge him to call his wife and patch things up. Kyle reluctantly gives Max the expensive bracelet (engraved with the message, "To Max, Always on my mind. Kyle") he purchased before their break-up. She pawns it to buy fake crocodile skin boots, and taunts him. After Kyle repurchases it for his new flame, Regine notes that Max seems to have regrets.

    Tag: Overton and Synclaire agree with Tibby's assessment of choir.

    Music: "On Broadway," sung by Kim Coles

    Quotes:
    Synclaire: "He even called me `bippity-boppity.'"
    Max: "That's amazing. Who knew there's a word that so perfectly describes you?"

    Max: "Look Synclaire, being disliked is often a sign that you're strong. That you have character. That people respect you."
    Regine: "Or that you're a hag that people put up with because Khadijah insists on dragging your behind around with her."

    Synclaire: "I'd be known as the trollop that drove a wedge between you and your favorite uncle. And your resentment would grow, and one day you'll be taking a blowtorch to my trolls and not even know why."
    Overton: "It's kind of hard to argue with logic like that."

    b: 8 Feb 96 pc: 457367 w: Kriss Turner d: Henry Chan
  19. "Shrink to Fit"
    gs: Jasmine Guy [ Dr. Jessica Bryce ]

    rc: Russell

    Khadijah takes a second job as a night security guard at an old-folks home to pay for improvements in Flavor, which faces stiff competition from a copycat magazine called Savor. These worries are compounded when she learns that Scooter is dating another woman. Khadijah develops insomnia, and behaves extremely erratically. She follows her mother's advice and begins seeing a psychiatrist, Dr. Bryce. She shows up at the office in a wig because she fears that her friends would treat her like a mental patient if they knew about her session (which proves to be true). Dr. Bryce notes that Khadijah seems to put everyone else's needs ahead of her own, and believes that she is suffering from a mild form of depression. Even when Savor flops, Khadijah's mood does not improve. She admits that she has begun to think about all she has sacrificed for her magazine, and wonders if it is worth it. She agrees to continue to see Dr. Bryce, but the doctor first instructs her to take a one-week vacation. Synclaire's gig as a clown at a child's party forces Overton to confront his clown phobia, which dates back to a nasty childhood incident involving a circus elephant.

    Tag: Dr. Bryce shows Overton a series of ink blots.

    Quotes:
    Regine: "Khadijah, honey, as your friend, I think you need therapy."
    Khadijah: "Well, that's good advice from somebody who's baking her head while she sleeps."

    Khadijah: "I'm the one who helps people with their problems. Maybe I should try talking to myself. Always works for Synclaire."
    Dr. Bryce: "Synclaire?"
    Khadijah: "My cousin. Now that's somebody who could use some couch time. Shoot. Or my roommate Regine. Girl, she's still waiting to exhale."

    Synclaire: "So how was `lunch?'"
    Khadijah: "Fine. Why?"
    Synclaire: "Do we feel better now that we've `eaten?'"
    Khadijah: "Synclaire, I don't know what the `hell' you're talking about."

    b: 15 Feb 96 pc: 457369 w: Roger S.H. Schulman d: Ellen Gittelsohn
  20. "Dear John"
    gs: Darryl M. Bell [ John ], Mari Morrow [ Kimberly ]

    rc: Keith

    Max and Khadijah grow weary of Regine's spineless boyfriend, John, so they joke about sending him a letter from Regine asking him to set her free. Max follows through with the plan, and Regine is devastated when John breaks up with her. Max and Khadijah go to John's house to explain the joke and ask him to take Regine back. They also suggest that he stand up for himself occasionally, rather than letting Regine walk all over him. Before John can come to the apartment to make up with Regine, she brings home her new boyfriend Keith, an artist who was painting a mural at the television studio. John arrives with flowers to tell Regine that their relationship is over, and begins pursuing Max. (He believes she sent the letter because she wanted him for herself.) Kyle's new girlfriend, Kimberly, begins coming on to Overton every time they are left alone together. Kyle refuses to believe this, but Kimberly freely admits to it when he confronts her on the roof. Kyle orders her to leave, and a belligerent Synclaire is more than happy to show her the door. Kimberly hooks up with the newly assertive John, although she doesn't seem to have changed her ways.

    Tag: The romance of Kimberly and John.

    Quotes:
    Overton: "Violence is not gonna solve anything, girl."
    Synclaire: "Oh, I see. Some heifer comes in here looking at your butt, and suddenly you're Gandhi!"

    Regine: "Is it me? Could I be high-maintenance? Oh my God. I've gotta go curl up in my Ralph Lauren comforter and slip on my satin eye shades."

    Kyle: "Now if you'll excuse me, I must go upstairs and strap down all the furniture before the earth shifts on its axis from all the hordes of females rushing to this hemisphere just to be nearer to you."

    b: 29 Feb 96 pc: 457370 w: Chris Sheridan d: Henry Chan
  21. "A Raze in Harlem"
    gs: Chuck Sloan [ Officer O'Keefe ], Maurkice Woods [ Satchel ], V.P. Oliver [ Luke ], Tom Bailey [ Demolition Man ], Evan Lionel [ Pianist ]

    Kyle is devastated to learn that an historic jazz club, the Showboat, is to be demolished. All his friends chip in with his campaign to save the club. Kyle fantasizes about the club's heyday, with all of the characters assuming other roles. Kyle is a busboy with a dream of singing on stage; Max is Big Max, the sexist club owner who constantly comes on to him; Khadijah is Kay, the club's singer; Regine is Zelda Fitzsimmons, a diva who seems to be missing a few marbles; Synclaire is Claire, a no-nonsense bible thumper; and Overton is Hooch Jones, the moonshiner who wins her heart when she learns he is funding orphanage repairs. Big Max fires Kyle for refusing to sleep with her, but is forced to let him take the stage when Kay quits to pursue a film career. Before he can sing his first note, the police raid the club. After all efforts to save the Showboat prove fruitless, Kyle heads down to the club to say goodbye. He bribes the construction crew into allowing him a few moments alone. He fulfills his dream of singing on the Showboat stage, then tearfully says farewell to this piece of his musical heritage.

    Tag: Kyle leaves club and walks down street, circa 1920s.

    Music: "Ain't Nobody's Business if I Do," performed by Queen Latifah; "Yes Sir, That's My Baby" and "Honeysuckle Rose," performed by T.C. Carson

    Quotes:
    Kyle: "Man, that place back in its heyday. Champagne popping. Hot women. Cool jazz."
    Khadijah: "Are you talking to us?"
    Kyle: "No, no. I'm going on a flashback. Leave me alone."

    Zelda: "I remember after that horse kicked me in the head. Things looked bleak…for a while. But then my dog started giving me some really good advice. Yes, he did! Yes, he did! Yes. Yes, he did!"

    Claire: "Hello there. Keep drinking and you'll burn in hell. How are things? Oh, I see. You can't talk. Busy sucking down your damnation."

    b: 7 Mar 96 pc: 457371 w: Chuck Tatham d: Ellen Gittelsohn

    NOTE: This episode was nominated for an Emmy for Best Lighting in a Comedy Series.


  22. "Woman to Woman"
    gs: Karen Malina White [ Shayla ], Tanika Ray [ Chris ], Antony Sandoval [ Arnaz ], Merrim Dungey [ Laura ]

    Max's college roommate, Shayla, comes to town for her wedding. Max is stunned to learn that Shayla's intended, Chris, is a woman. She is hurt that Shayla failed to disclose the fact that she is gay, particularly when she discovers that Khadijah had known the truth since college. Max behaves rudely at the bridal shower, prompting Shayla to confront her in the kitchen. When Max demands to know why she was shut out, Shayla confesses that she was in love with Max. Max announces that she will not attend the wedding, as she feels that their entire frienship was a lie. Khadijah disagrees, pointing out that Shayla hid her true feelings because she was afraid of losing Max's friendship. Max tracks Shayla down at the beauty parlor to apologize. Although she admits that she might have initially overreacted to the news, she wishes that Shayla had given her a chance to rise to the occasion. Meanwhile, Kyle refers Overton to his tailor, but soon fears that Overton has stolen his fashion "look."

    Tag: Overton stars in fashion show, with Kyle as designer.

    Quotes:
    Max: "It was those volleyball shorts I used to wear, wasn't it?"

    Shayla: "Fine, Max. Don't come. The reception hall doesn't allow children anyway. And by the way, those volleyball shorts? They weren't all that."

    Synclaire: "Well Max, I don't claim to know everything about homosexuality."
    Regine: "Yeah, well, that will be a big relief to the gay community."
    Synclaire: "But it seems to me that if someone gets to know you--warts and all--and still cares about you very deeply, that's the best kind of friend, isn't it?"
    Max: "Synclaire, it's time for you and Lamp Chop to sing a night-night song."

    b: 21 Mar 96 pc: 457372 w: Jim Pond and Bill Fuller d: Ellen Gittelsohn

    NOTE: Erika Alexander and Karen Malina White appeared together in the latter episodes of The Cosby Show. After the show ended its run, White's character was transferred to A Different World.


  23. "Glass Ceiling"
    gs: Rhona Bennett [ Jordan ], Marc Dakota Robinson [ Paul ], Natasha Pearce [ Danielle ], Hannah Sussman [ Sara ]

    rc: Jeffrey, Keith, Rev. Taylor

    Kyle receives a promotion, but becomes extremely disenchanted after realizing that he is no longer allowed any contact with clients; the entire job consists of attending meeting after meeting. When Kyle is asked to speak before a church youth group, a young man who has followed his career closely suggests that he use his creativity to make his job more interesting. Kyle proposes an intermediary position, in which he would be involved in middle management, yet still work with clients. He must take a pay cut, but feels it is worth it. Meanwhile, Max tests Regine's claim that she doesn't mind when Keith paints portraits of nude models by volunteering to pose. Regine finally admits her jealousy, and Keith agrees to work with her to put her mind at ease.

    Tag: Rev. Taylor tries to sneak out of Overton's lecture while kids sleep.

    Quotes:
    Max: "Sign me up as your next nude model. I vant to be art."
    Khadijah: "Girl, why don't you just go to the top of the World Trade Center, flash New Jersey, and straight get it out of your system?"

    Keith: "I'm not the one. I'm going out with Regine."
    Max: "The Bohemian? Or could it be that her love of art isn't nearly as deep as her fear of the power of my nakedness?"

    Regine: "You have to paint her, because I don't know if she could handle yet another man telling her to forget it once he's seen her with her clothes off."

    b: 4 Apr 96 pc: 457373 w: Kriss Turner d: Kim Fields Freeman
  24. "Kiss of the Spider Man"
    gs: Giancarlo Esposito [ Jackson Turner ], Monica [ Marissa ], Kevin Richardson [ Teddy ], Darryl Theirse [ Albert Peignor ], Gillian Holt [ Robin Walters ]

    Max defends Jackson Turner, an environmentalist accused of murdering a CEO. He insists he was on a plane at the time the crime was committed, and Max locates a stewardess who remembers his snoring. Max and Jackson begin falling for each other. After he is cleared, they go to his cabin for the weekend. Max learns that the CEO died from the venom of a rare poisonous spider; Jackson could have killed him without being present. She jumps out the window, but later returns with Overton to confront Jackson. He insists he is innocent, and notices that a spider is missing. They realize that his assistant, Peignor, had access to the spiders. Synclaire, Regine and Kyle arrive to check on Max and Overton. Peignor emerges from the bathroom with a gun. Kyle and Overton jump him, but break the spiders' case. When Peignor tries to grab the gun, Max tosses a spider at him. Kyle and Overton carry him to the clinic. Max apologizes to Jackson, but decides he isn't right for her after he asks her to help track scorpions in New Mexico. Khadijah breaks up with the achingly dull Teddy, but must provide counsel to his jilted kid sister. She hangs around the apartment and ties up the phone.

    Tag: Spiders assume personalities of the characters.

    Quotes:
    Jackson: "When they told me my lawyer was somebody named Max Shaw, I expected a good deal more testosterone."
    Max: "Get to know me."

    Synclaire: "I'd never have sex with a man just because he offered me a million dollars."
    Regine: "Girl, this is `Crimson Tide'!"

    Regine: "Khadijah, your little friend's been holed up in the bathroom for 45 minutes, chatting on the phone about Coolio."

    b: 11 Apr 96 pc: 457375 w: Fred Johnson d: Maynard C. Virgil I

    NOTE: At one point, Khadijah advises Marissa, "Don't take it personal." This is a reference to Monica's 1995 hit single, "Don't Take It Personal (Just One of Dem Days)." Monica was a client of Flavor Unit.
  25. "Whatever Happened to Baby Sister?"
    gs: Tatyana Ali [ Stephanie James ], Ebonie Smith [ Mary ]

    rc: Ivan

    Khadijah's estranged father asks her to keep an eye on her spoiled half-sister, Stephanie, while she is in town for a track meet. Khadijah asks Ivan to take her out and keep her out of trouble, but she slips away at a party and gets really drunk. She has a terrible hangover the morning of the finals. Khadijah forces her to get in the blocks, but she has to quit the race to go throw up. Khadijah can't understand why Stephanie would throw her opportunity away, but Stephanie explains that she is tired of being touted as a future Olympian; she would rather be a regular college student. Khadijah doesn't sympathize, pointing out that Stephanie at least has a father to pressure her. She is surprised to learn that their father always holds up Khadijah as a role model to her sister. Regine suspects that Max penned a letter to a magazine expressing concern about her habit of pushing men away (one in particular). She and Kyle pester Max about this, but she steadfastly denies it. Overton, however, sees through her lies.

    Tag: Khadijah challenges Stephanie to a race.

    Music: "Fantastic Voyage" (Lakeside), sung by Tatyana Ali

    Quotes:
    Max: "Can you believe those clowns?"
    Overton: "I hear you. So, did they give you a free copy of the magazine when they ran your letter?"
    Max: "No, just a release form and this coupon for tampons."

    Khadijah: "Don't talk to me about being a good sister. I've seen you twice in ten years. The first time, I'm hosing down my walls. The second time, I'm mopping up my floor. I don't know what's gonna happen the next time, but everything is getting covered in plastic."

    Khadijah: "And all this time I thought you were a brat. But you're really just a misunderstood girl who gets too much attention and everything she wants, huh?"
    Stephanie: "And I thought you were bossy. But you're really just a regular person who thinks she's in charge of the world."

    b: 25 Apr 96 pc: 457374 w: Eunetta Boone d: Ellen Gittelsohn
  26. "Compromising Positions"
    gs: Jack Carter [ Ray Kellum ], Karon Kearney [ Bingo Caller ]

    rc: Laverne, Keith

    Laverne is very impressed with Keith at their first meeting, but things take a turn for the worse when Ms. Hunter catches Keith and Regine in a romantic interlude on the roof a few days later. (Max, who observed the entire encounter from her apartment, documents it for the neighborhood newsletter.) Regine cannot get her mother to speak to her, so she comes down to her favorite bingo parlor with Khadijah to confront her. Laverne explains that Regine's behavior reminds her of the time that Regine was conceived in the bleachers during a Mets game. Regine assures her that she has control of her life, and there is no reason to worry. When one of Laverne's bingo cards is a winner, she and her daughter celebrate with a shopping spree. Overton decides to pop the question to Synclaire. He spots the perfect ring, but must negotiate with the eccentric old man who presently owns it.

    Tag: Overton and Ray take a "chopper" ride.

    Quotes:
    Laverne: "How could you do this? I bring you goodies; you're up here giving yours away."

    Overton: "It's kind of hard to put Synclaire into words. You ever get up in the morning and raise the blinds and the whole room starts to glow? That's what it's like every time my baby walks into the room."
    Ray: "Hey, how's she's built?"
    Overton: "Yeah, she's stacked up pretty nice, too."

    Kyle: "Regine, I can understand why you'd be a bit humiliated right now, but maybe you should get a bucket of water."
    Regine: "What for, Kyle?"
    Kyle, Khadijah and Synclaire: "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!"

    b: 9 May 96 pc: 457376 w: Warren Hutcherson d: Gil Junger

    NOTE: While trying to avoid eye contact with Regine and Keith, Laverne stares at the cupcakes she dropped and mutters, "It took so long to bake it." This is a lyric from Jimmy Webb's "MacArthur Park," a #1 hit for Donna Summer in 1978 (and sung by Max throughout 4.24).
  27. "The Engagement (1)"
    gs: Bobcat Goldthwait [ Mugger ], Judith Scott [ Karen O'Neal ], Tony Guma [ Waiter ], Andi Carnick [ Peggy ], Todd Stanton [ Jerry ], Sabi Dorr [ Repairman ], Ed Cambridge [ Carriage Driver ]

    rc: Russell

    While buying a hot dog in the park, Synclaire meets Robert DeNiro, who offers her the part of a waitress in his new movie. Overton tries to plan the perfect evening in the hopes of proposing to Synclaire, but filely everything goes wrong. Synclaire cannot make their dinner because she has been called to the set. She eventually shows up, but they have to flee when the houseboat restaurant has plumbing problems. Their hansom cab breaks down in Central Park, and Overton gets mugged. Despite Synclaire's pleas, he unhitches the horse and mounts it in the hopes of chasing the man down and getting the ring back. An alternative rock group slaps Khadijah with a multi-million dollar lawsuit after Russell writes a review accusing it of ripping off Barry Manilow's "Mandy." When Regine tries to console Russell, he kisses her, and she takes a very long time to shove him away. Regine's women's group persuades Max to run for alderwoman. Regine appoints herself Max's campaign manager, but objects to her straightforward campaign and questionable slogans ("Ride the Maverick!"). Max's campaign appears to be doomed when a local news broadcast publicizes scandalous information about her personal life.

    Tag: Kyle consoles Max as the allegations pour down.

    Music: "Everybody Has a Nipple" by the Belching Yams

    Quotes:
    Regine: "You look beautiful. You and Obie celebrating again over at Ikea's cafeteria?"

    Max: "I've already had my first press conference, this afternoon."
    Regine: "Oh my God. Max, what did you wear?"
    Max: "This."
    Regine: "God. The blouse says you're in favor of acid rain, the skirt says more guns in school, and the shoes say you're blind!"

    Max: "Hey Regine, I'm on my way to the bathroom. What color pants should I wear?"

    b: 9 May 96 pc: 457377 w: Becky Hartman Edwards d: Ellen Gittelsohn

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